


Wide eyed with a heart made full of fright

by Stivvy



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anchors, Angst, Best Friends, Desperate Stiles Stilinski, Feels, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Mainly cuz I'm a tease, Panic Attacks, Sciles, Self-sacrificing scott, Slow Burn, Thunderstorms, season 5 is gonna be rough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-03 22:04:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4116451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stivvy/pseuds/Stivvy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scott is leaving and Stiles can't bear it. So he makes his final case.<br/>(Title from "the wolf" by Mumford and sons)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You have been weighed, you have been found wanting

**Author's Note:**

> The time to hesitate is through  
> No time to wallow in the mire  
> Try now we can only lose  
> And our love become a funeral pyre  
> \- The Doors

His grey nikes left ear splitting crunches in his wake as he dove through the bramble and bushes of the preserve, the towering branches above blocking out all but the tiniest flicker of moonlight to help guide his way. Not that he needed it tonight. Stiles was out of breath, crashing forward like the living incarnation of his jeep that night he had smashed the lizard out of Jackson. His flapping arms grasped for any kind of purchase as he stumbled headlong over a huge tree root that seemed to have sprung up serendipitously just to slow down his already sloppy and half assed plan.

"Fuck! Fuck fuck mother of..." His mumbled curses trailed off as he inspected the angry red slashes forming on his palms and shook the clinging dirt off the knees of his now torn jeans. "Well this is going perfectly so far, isn't it Stiles? Oh yes, let's run off into the woods without any weapon and without telling anybody and then just fall down flat on our face. Yep. Sounds about right."

His babble was just getting started when all of a sudden Stiles' face whipped up, and he clamped his mouth shut, startled into silence. That was a howl. And it was close.

"SCOTT!!" The word left his throat in a tattered wail, and Stiles shoved his body up and forwards to keep going. This was not going to be it, it couldn't be, he would make it to Scott if it was the last thing he ever did (because it very well might as well be if he failed). "Shit, shit," he continued to sputter as he bent branches backwards and kicked up plumes of red in the dirt behind him, "Scott...fuck...hold on man...don't do this...don't..."

The words tasted like fire in his mouth and his veins burned with pulsing lava, haphazardly lifting his limbs which protested painfully with every smack of his feet to the crackling ground. His face was wet from the windswept tears streaking past his chin, and the back of his hand left long traces of dirt where he tried to wipe his left cheek dry. It was hard to focus on anything else when all of his senses were screaming to just PUSH, just keep going, just get to Scott. If he was too late....he couldn't finish the thought, and the huge lump that had been forming in his throat threatened to choke him if he did.

_Come on come on Scotty, just gimme a sign_ , he thought to himself as he raced along, worried suddenly that he was going the wrong way (howling echoes can be fatally deceptive), and even more worried that even if he found him, he was already too late to stop it. Any of it.

Stiles never ever thought this would be something he'd have to do. He couldn't remember a time when he and Scott weren't glued to each other's hips, sharing a swing, snack, blanket, ant farm....okay frog baseball was regrettable, but any little thing kids will do? They did it together. Like one. It almost seemed laughable that he found himself in this position, with the gnawing ache inside telling him that this could be it, that their perfect whole might be broken in half and anything he did wouldn't be enough to stop it.

They might never do all the things they dreamed of doing together. All the stupid grown up things like voting and going to college and getting real jobs. Even the teenage things they'd never had a chance to experience, like drinking enough to puke and sleeping all weekend and partying till dawn...no. They didn't get to have those things when every day was another waterfall to swim up with a dragon waiting at the top. When every night was grenade waiting to be launched.

Stiles tried to hold in a sob as he caught his breath against a huge tree, leaning his forehead on the smooth bark and inhaling the night air mixed with the deep earthy taste of a brewing storm. He shut his eyes and counted his breathing, in for four seconds, hold for seven, out for eight. Again. _Breathe right dammit!_ He scolded himself, _how're you gonna talk sense into that thick wolf skull if you can't even breathe!?_ He blew a stray black hair out of his eyes and counted again.

When he finally slowed his pulse enough to ease the shaking in his legs, Stiles flipped himself over and threw his back against the tree, digging his heels into the soft ground to stay upright. His heavy breaths had slowed too, allowing him a moment to tune in some decidedly un-werewolfish senses to the sounds scattered around the forest as they whirled past him with the dead leaves on the breeze. Nothing. _Great_ , he thought bitterly, _I totally fucked up and went the wrong way...I'm...fuck...dammit Scott._ Hot tears were bubbling in pools at the corners of his eyes, and Stiles could barely hold back the gasp that ripped through his gut as he wiped his dripping nose with the sleeve of his sweat sodden hoodie.

Suddenly, he heard a crack.


	2. I promised you everything would be fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Stiles couldn't help the shiver that coursed through his body as Scott twined their fingers together and brought their hands down from his face, looking his best friend straight in the eye. The two boys shared a deep and steadying breath, locked in an unspoken conversation, no, confrontation, that both ached to be addressed and begged to be suppressed for just one more day. They exhaled at the same moment, and Stiles felt like his lungs were on fire just like the blood in his veins. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I just can't hold it in cuz I'm kinda loving this one, so you get another chapter! It could be cuz I've gone over it so many times I just don't wanna change it anymore and so I'm gonna commit. There's more already written (I think this is my longest work so far...I think I'm a bit scared I'm being redundant, let me know, will ya?), but I'm gonna post it in more pieces as it develops.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Stiles eyes blew wide as he flung his head from side to side desperately searching for the source of the unexpected noise in what he now noticed was a relatively unnatural silence.

“What are you doing here, Stiles?”

The voice was deep and growling in a familiar, achingly irritated tone. If it had been any other moment, any other threat that they had faced, Stiles might have smirked. He might have thrown out some of that classical wit he's famous for, going for the downplay, the easy way out. Not tonight. Not this time. This time it was a whole new level of heartbreaking bullshit and Stiles could barely believe he'd come this far without confronting it sooner. _Man up, fuck_ , he thought, desperately trying to make the words form on his tongue.

"You..." He managed to squeak, "ahem, you can't do this. You can't do this Scott." He tried to make his voice as loud as he could bear, knowing his friend didn't need much to work with. He shifted his body towards the sounds he knew would lead to Scott, still standing just out of sight, melting into the shadows of the tightly growing trunks and jaggedly spreading branches.

"Come on," he sniffed, hiccoughing silently as he began to shuffle forwards away from the roots that were posing an imminent face planting threat and towards the low growl he could just make out a few feet away. "Just listen...Scott.."

"No, you listen," what had been almost a purring sound turned heavy as the werewolf's words shot at him in a loud stage whisper, "you can't be here Stiles, I told you, I won't change my mind and all you're gonna do is hurt yourself." "Too late bro.." Stiles muttered under his breath.

"See??" Scott lunged towards him out of the thicket, grasping Stiles by the arms and frantically looking up and down his lanky body, searching for evidence of injury so that he could properly chastise his best friend for being stupid enough to follow him.

"No, Scott," Stiles stumbled in the other boy's grasp and fell ungracefully to his knees, but Scott held him up. "That doesn't matter, that, Scott stop..." Stiles lifted his shaky hands and cupped his best friend's cheeks between his long fingers. "Stop looking at me like I'm gonna break, you won't see it." He let his eyes fall to Scott's heaving chest, taking in the three droplets of sweat that lay there briefly before disappearing under the dark outline of his grey tank top.

"What...what are you talking about?? You're all scratched up, your pants are torn..." Scott ran his fingers lightly over the still bleeding gashes that dotted Stiles' forearms, his brow furrowed with concern. Stiles couldn't help the shiver that coursed through his body as Scott twined their fingers together and brought their hands down from his face, looking his best friend straight in the eye. The two boys shared a deep and steadying breath, locked in an unspoken conversation, no, confrontation, that both ached to be addressed and begged to be suppressed for just one more day. They exhaled at the same moment, and Stiles felt like his lungs were on fire just like the blood in his veins.

"I have to do this, Stiles, please...please don't try to stop me anymore." There was a hollow current underlying the words, and Stiles was sure he didn't mean any one of them.

"No. No, Scott you don't..." Scott cut off his pleas abruptly, gripping Stiles' hands in his so tightly the boy thought for sure he'd see bruises on his pale skin tomorrow.

"Shh..stop it Stiles." Dark chocolate eyes met desperate whiskey ones as Stiles snapped his jaw shut. Let him have his piece, he thought, trying to control his shaky breaths, and I'll finish the rest. "It's gonna be okay. I promise. I know what I'm doing. You need to understand, It's what's best for the pack..for all of us."

And there it was. The McCall motto, the famous selfless excuse and hero party line. But Stiles wasn't having it this time, and he steeled himself to finally say the things that needed to be said. "If this is your choice, Scott," he stepped closer to the other boy, looking down at the inch of space between them and licking his lips as he raised his eyes to Scott's, "then it's the wrong one. And clearly it shows just how little you know about what's best for me, for...for any of us." Scott flinched at the accusation, and Stiles could feel it through his fingertips like electricity.

"How can you think that you leaving could possibly help anything? Don't you have any idea what would happen here without you?" Stiles stiffened as he tried to convey confidence through at least his body, since his voice was still coming out squeaky and his words still somewhat incoherent, at least to his own ears.

"Yes! I do," Scott countered, "you would go on living. You would graduate and start a new life and meet new people, meet...someone, and start over..." His voice faltered over the last few words, and Stiles' insides churned at the look in his best friend's eyes. Maybe he had a chance after all. Maybe this wasn't over yet. _I don't hear no fat lady singing._

He gulped, twisting his fingers with Scott's until they were palm to palm between the two shivering torsos. "That's bullshit and I know you know it," he spat out haltingly, "you know exactly what will happen and I have no idea why on earth you can't just acknowledge it never mind do everything you can to...to stop it." Stiles sputtered out the last few words as he felt the unexpected brush of Scott's thumb across the dip of his knuckle.

But then Scott let his hands drop to his sides in defeat, taking a step away from the hot breath and devastating scent that was radiating off of Stiles and coming at him in unpleasant waves.

"I'm doing it for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please leave a comment!!


	3. Hold my gaze love you know I want to let it go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "His tone was reaching piercing decibels, and Stiles could feel his legs starting to quake with panic. He knew this would be difficult but Scott was being absolutely irrational. There was nothing more unacceptable to Stiles than a refusal to accept logical facts, and his best friend, the person he loved most in this world was standing there ready to let him die. To let him crumple to dust and blow away on the breeze, because he was nothing without his anchor."

It was barely a whisper and Stiles only had to peek through his tear soaked lashes to see the look of utter despair on the werewolf's face. "F..for..me?! Scott are you even listening to yourself dude? This is all just so, so wrong I don't even have words. What would I possibly do without you? How could I.." He spread his arms wide and swung them over his head helplessly, wracking his fingers through his hair as he surged towards Scott, "how the fuck could I possibly live without you Scott?"

The boy's voice broke on his name, and it tore through his own chest like shrapnel intent on doing the most harm possible. Stiles was a complete mess but he couldn't give a shit how he looked if he tried, in fact, all the better if guilt was gonna be the way this went down. But that wasn't the plan. That's not what he wanted.

Scott was swaying where he stood, and he shook the hair out of his eyes before looking into his best friend's. "I...I don't know. I wish I knew...Stiles, you have to believe me, if I could answer that question this would be so much easier for me, for..for us," he let out a choked breath, "I don't know how the fuck I'm gonna do it either."

"Then whh.." Stiles blew out a huff of air in exasperation. He didn't know what to think, and his heart started pounding so hard he thought it might explode from his chest again. "What are you doing this for?!" Stiles all but screeched, "You are literally tearing off several of my limbs and vital organs and expect me to survive? To just...go on?"

His tone was reaching piercing decibels, and Stiles could feel his legs starting to quake with panic. He knew this would be difficult but Scott was being absolutely irrational. There was nothing more unacceptable to Stiles than a refusal to accept logical facts, and his best friend, the person he loved most in this world was standing there ready to let him die. To let him crumple to dust and blow away on the breeze, because he was nothing without his anchor. But of course Scott couldn't see it with his stupid innocent puppy eyes and open trusting heart that would never believe that his best friend could keep anything from him. Especially the most important thing.

Stiles found his breaths coming in short and shallow. He leaned forwards with his hands on his knees and reached out to stop Scott when he hurried towards him to catch his stumbling body. "No...Scott, it's you that doesn't understand. You don't get it because you...you've never seen the whole board." Stiles let the words tumble from his lips in pieces as he slowly lowered himself to the mossy ground and rubbed the pooling moisture from his eyes, letting the tears stain his cheeks. "You don't get to do this Scott. You just don't." Stiles sniffed and wiped his face with his filthy sleeve, lowering his chin so that Scott would have to come closer to hear.

"Stiles..." The sound of his name on Scott's lips had never sounded so torn, so devastating. Stiles looked up when his friend brought his fingers to his chin. "Look at me, Stiles."

Scott was on his knees in front of the other boy, one hand on his thigh while the other gently wiped at his tear striped, salty cheek. "What are you talking about? Dude, you know I don't play chess." Scott's feeble attempt at humor caught Stiles off guard and he almost choked on a half hearted giggle, but it died in his throat as he realized this was it. _Fuck_ , he thought wildly, frantically looking from Scott's eyes to his lips and back again, _it's now or never isn't it?_

Stiles ran his tongue over his upper lip, tasting the bitterness of his tears and sweat mixing with the grains of dirt he had wiped onto his face over and over again. He opened his eyes wide enough to meet the other boy's penetrating stare, and his tongue was heavy in his dry mouth, the words stuck there tasting like super glue. Tentatively, he tried anyway.

"Scott...listen," the kneeling boy let out a huff of air in relief and settled onto the earth in front of Stiles, the hand on his thigh firm and steady, "you? You are everything, and I mean literally everything to me." He sucked in a sharp breath, hoping he hadn't gone too far too fast. The wide eyed eager look and comforting proximity of Scott's body told him he hadn't. Yet. "If you leave Scott, I mean, dude look at me...I'm already out of my fucking mind and you haven't even left the preserve. There is no way that you leaving Beacon Hills could result in anything less than my utter and complete demise. Scott," he took another deep breath and squeezed his best friend's hands in his, "there is no me without you. There is no you without me either, Scott, we both know it. We can't do this alone."

"You'll never be alone Stiles, I..." Scott tried to interrupt but was quickly cut off.

"Would you just let me finish please? If I hear one more cliche I swear..."

Scott snickered softly and lifted a hand in mock self defense, "Sorry bro, didn't realize you were pausing for dramatic effect."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who doesn't love a good dramatic pause ;)


	4. you'd better keep the wolf back from the door, he wanders ever closer every night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well to be honest, for a werewolf you could be a bit more..you know...muscly," Stiles quipped, trailing his fingers across Scott's collarbone and letting them rest around his bicep, squeezing playfully.  
> "Yes, boss, so I guess it's off to the gym then?" Scott's eyes sparkled with joy from hearing the familiar sarcasm, but something else seemed to flicker in them at the same time. Stiles' smile faltered when he looked into their depths and felt like he was drowning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exactly one more damn day I can't stand it anymore!!!!!!! This season is gonna be tough for Sciles, but those two are the foundation and shining light of this show so I know we can never be disappointed. Hope this chapter doesn't disappoint either ;)

"I wasn't..would you just...could you let me have a serious moment for once? I'm not just here for comic relief you know." Stiles pouted genuinely and lifted his nose at the boy in front of him, trying to save face. "If you'll recall I had quite the dramatic few months last year, even if it wasn't actually me causing the drama." The unexpected reference to the fox demon reminded both boys of the real reason they were here. The real reason most jokes just fell flat these days.

"No," Scott replied softly, "it wasn't you."

"But I almost lost you then. I almost...almost..." Stiles stuttered as the shame he'd worked so hard to push down threatened to bubble up again, "Scott I almost killed you."

He hung his head so that his falling tears might be hidden for a moment, but they wouldn't slow. "And when you were missing and my dad was taken and I...Scott I couldn't breathe...the thought of you running off with Deucalion...of you leaving me, Scott," Stiles was fully sobbing now, the words rolling off his lips with strained breaths and a ragged tone, "I was sure it was the end. Whether he took you for his own or you went because you thought you had no choice, the result was the same. Scott, it tore me apart at the seams and I can't...I just can't...not again I, I..."

"Stiles," Scott leaned in closer and put his arms around the other boy, pulling him close enough to rest his head in the crook of his neck, "Stiles, it's okay, I didn't leave you, that's all over...it was so long ago man, you know I didn't want to hurt you...I had to go.."

"Yeah," Stiles sniffed and wiped his face on Scott's shoulder, his hands fisting tightly into the soft cotton pressed against him, "you had to do what was best for all of us, big surprise there, but you know what?" He continued, looking back up at his friend's clearly confused face, "this? This right here is not that. There is no greater good here, Scott, leaving is NOT the right choice, it is the absolute worst one. You remember what I told you at the motel when the wolfsbane made you think it was time to end it all?"

Scott's eyes darkened at the memory and his lips twitched into a small snarl, "You told me I wasn't nothing."

"Exactly." Stiles brought a hand up to dry off the tears he had left on Scott's shoulder but thought better of it, trailing his fingers over the curly hair at the base of the other boy's skull instead. "At least your delusional brain retained one lesson from that nightmare. I meant what I said, Scott, every word. You've never been nothing to me. You're my best friend. You're my brother..."

Deep thoughtful brown eyes met his in that moment, and Stiles' breath hitched but he willed himself to continue. He didn't get a chance.

"If we're gonna do this, then you're just gonna have to take me with you." The words fell from Scott's mouth like a waterfall in the desert, and Stiles felt goosebumps begin to take over the skin on his forearms.

"You.." he stammered, "for a wolf you sure do have the memory of an elephant."

"Are you calling me fat?" Scott chortled, ducking his chin to force eye contact with the other boy who had quickly looked down in slight embarrassment, a crooked grin starting to play at the corners of his mouth.

"Well to be honest, for a werewolf you could be a bit more..you know...muscly," Stiles quipped, trailing his fingers across Scott's collarbone and letting them rest around his bicep, squeezing playfully.

"Yes, boss, so I guess it's off to the gym then?" Scott's eyes sparkled with joy from hearing the familiar sarcasm, but something else seemed to flicker in them at the same time. Stiles' smile faltered when he looked into their depths and felt like he was drowning.

"But Scott..." he let his gaze drop to the hands in his lap, slowing twisting around each other, both trying to gain control, "you don't have to do this either."

"Stiles," Scott groaned exasperatedly, letting his forehead rest heavily against the other boy's, "how many times do I have to tell you..."

"And how many times do I have to tell _you_ , Scott," Stiles clasped his best friend's wrists, digging his stubby fingertips into the hard muscle to make a point, "you are not doing this. You leave, it's all over. It's as simple as that and as final as a nuclear fucking holocaust."

Stiles' voice grew hard with conviction, and the look in his eyes matched it. He brought up one knee, taking Scott's hand in both of his and bringing them to his thundering chest.

Scott felt like he was already being torn to shreds, nostrils filling with a scent of despair and anger that he had never felt before. He didn't know what else to say. What could he say to this boy who meant the whole world to him? The boy who had been with him through everything, by his side for the stupidest, the most immature, the most embarrassing moments of his life? There was no one who knew him better, who could read him like the crappy B rated comic superhero he was turning out to be, and could make him smile even when he felt like the entire world was collapsing around him. Stiles was right. Without him he was nothing. If he stayed...but no. Scott had made his mind up that very day even as he expected this moment to come, though he wasn't sure if he dreaded it or was counting on it.


	5. We will stare down at the wonder of it all and I will hold you in it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The silence was a pounding drumbeat in a soundproof room, and Scott didn't dare move a muscle. Stiles was entranced by the fit of his mouth on Scott's neck, the scent of his sweat and shampoo and rain as it invaded his senses, and he couldn't feel quite where his lips ended and Scott's shivering skin began."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oookay so I wasn't quite ready to post but then I had a spurt of inspiration and tada! Thanks for all the comments and support, it means everything!!

"Stiles." Scott spoke with a hush, the sound of air hitting his teeth in a soft whistle that carried through the wind swirling around the two boys, caressing them like an old friend.

"No, shh, Scott no.." He untangled a hand to run it through the stray strands falling over Scott's hooded eyes, sweeping them aside and cradling the crooked jaw with his palm.

"You're not getting it. I. Cannot. Be. Without you." Stiles' eyes pierced his own like burning daggers, and Scott felt a crushing weight on his chest that wouldn't be ignored. Everything he always wanted to say, everything he needed to hear, all of the reasons and excuses and exhilarating revelations that stayed buried had spread through him like poison, blinding him from reason. From truth.

Stiles was taking a deep breath, his eyelashes fluttering with anxiety, skin tingling at every point of contact as his hand traveled the contours of Scott's face, memorizing every line and bump and curve. He traced the soft hill of Scott's bottom lip with his thumb, lowering his arm to the other boy's chest and letting his hand come to rest just over his heart.

"Scott you're all I need, all...all I'll ever need. You're the reason my lungs fill with air. You're the reason I laugh and the reason I cry like a bloody five year old girl. You're my beginning and my end, Scott, you're it for me. Everything." Stiles could feel his own heartbeat picking up a rapid pace, he just hoped Scott would focus on his words and not the blatantly obvious signs of an approaching panic attack.

"If...if you weren't in my life it would be like..like a black hole opened up and sucked the meaning out of everything along with my reason for living. You just can't do this to me Scott you see, I...I know you're no murderer and I would most definitely die without you."

_Fuck, I'm definitely rambling now_ , Stiles thought in a panic, _I don't think that even made sense and I'm starting to sound like a bucket full of cheese_.

Desperately, he heaved in a deep breath as inconspicuously as possible (which of course was not very much considering whom he was trying to fool), shifting forwards onto his knees and causing Scott to catch him under his arms before he fell right into him.

"Hey...hey, come on." Scott tried his best to stay calm and let it seep through his voice, cradling his friend's head with one hand while the other gripped his back tightly. His fingers rubbed tender circles into the spiky dark hair, and Scott was amazed at how soft and silky it was against his skin. He could feel the warmth of new tears wetting his neck as Stiles tucked his face into the curve of his shoulder, eyes clamped shut and breaths coming out in a ragged staccato.

"Just breathe with me, Stiles" Scott lifted them both until he was back on the ground, pressing Stiles to his chest and holding onto him like a child. "I need you to breathe now, okay? Just listen to my voice. We're gonna do it together now, listen...feel that?"

He could feel the tiny flutter as Stiles tried opening his eyes, and Scott felt assaulted by a deep seated heat when the boy's lips suddenly brushed his neck, tiny bursts of air escaping as the human moved his face over Scott's trembling and supernaturally sensitive skin.

He lowered his chin and felt the smooth brush of his best friend's cheek as Stiles turned his head in response, trailing his lips up the crooked jawline to rest beneath Scott's ear. Stiles inhaled deeply, his fingers curling into the comfort of Scott's well worn shirt as he focused on the steady heartbeat holding him fast. A heartbeat that was suddenly a bit more...erratic than before, and... _Shit_ , Stiles thought, in a fleeting moment of clarity, _is **he** nervous?_

The silence was a pounding drumbeat in a soundproof room, and Scott didn't dare move a muscle. Stiles was entranced by the fit of his mouth on Scott's neck, the scent of his sweat and shampoo and rain as it invaded his senses, and he couldn't feel quite where his lips ended and Scott's shivering skin began.

Slowly he started to turn in Scott's arms to lift his head, heart just about bursting from his chest as he felt the loss of heated contact against his skin. Stiles raised his eyes and counted the lines in Scott's lower lip, letting his eyelashes flutter against the other boy's cheekbone for an instant. Their noses were touching, side by side, and the breaths between them grew as heavy as the silence.

Stiles brought his hands up to tuck them securely into Scott's overgrown waves, gripping gently to relieve the pressure building in his gut and silence the clamoring of his doubts.

_Now or never....fuck...he wants this...I want this...does he? Holy shit...am I gonna do this? Is this happening???_

The voices in his head were running full throttle, milliseconds whizzing by with a thousand rapid considerations. None mattered. Nothing mattered anymore but this instant.

Scott was torn in a dozen directions, his wolf on overload with the unbearable intensity he was experiencing inside and out. The wind was picking up, almost raging around them, sending both the dead leaves and those torn from their branches whipping at their backs and sticking to their hair with the slowly steadying drizzle that was settling on the woods.

He could feel the storm deep in his bones, and the smells of the panicking wildlife and approaching electricity were seeping into his lungs. More powerful still were the scents he was having a harder time identifying. Scott wasn't sure if they were coming from himself or the boy curled in his arms, but the searing desperation of it was making him woozy. The mixture of it all was heady and gratifying, and it coiled around him like a snake that had been starved for years. He thought he knew what that might feel like.

The rain was coming harder now, fat droplets landing with large plops on his bare skin, soaking through Scott's thinning shirt and Stiles' darkening hoodie. They lay like thick curtains in his lashes and began to drop from his brow with a slow rhythm. His heart was beating to the rhythm of the quickening pulse at his chin which Stiles was gently circling with his thumb. Scott could feel be ground beneath them rumble with the distant thunder, but he knew he held the lighting right there in his lap. It was circling them in the winds but it was coming from between them, within them both, and the boys could feel it sizzling under the surface of their skin.

The torrent was approaching, but time stopped first.


	6. The wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It felt like one of those slow motion moments in the best movies, when you’ve built up hours of anticipation and sparkling chemistry and a wild, itching need to feel some kind of climax and then finally it just takes one final moment of waiting forever and then…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long!!! The anticipation and then beginning of this new season had me stalled and wound up and unable to finish just about everything so...ya. Here it finally is. And WHAT a season this is becoming holy shit...please please tell me you're all losing it too!

_Been wondering for days, how you felt me slip your mind. Leave behind your wanton ways, I wanna look you in the eye. Cuz you're all I ever longed for._

It wasn’t with a bang, or an explosion of thunder, or a burst of lightning that the moment finally hit them both. The rumbling in the ground was soft at first (only Scott could sense it), and continuous in a way that left Stiles wondering when it had started and where it was going to go. The vibrations were climbing through his rain soaked limbs, mixing with the heat and frantic energy that called his body home. Raindrops, sweat, and tears melded together on their slick skin and the taste was unbearable when their tongues flicked out unconsciously to catch the salty sweet liquid.

Then there was a brush of lips against his cheek, and Scott could feel the thunder in his belly respond to the surge of electricity it left there. He tightened his grip on the other boy’s hand still clenched tightly in his own, even as he felt Stiles turning his chin towards him slower than a panther stalking its prey.

As he closed his eyes, Scott felt the weight of the earth beneath him shift. Stiles’ lips were hovering above his own, hesitant breaths intermingling in the minuscule space between, and Scott didn’t need to look into his best friends eyes to know what he needed. What they both needed and had pushed away for so long.

Stiles placed an innocent touch with his lips to the corner of Scott’s mouth and closed his own eyes, brushing his nose up against his friend’s one more time in a silent gesture of affection, waiting for a reaction he wasn’t sure he could handle. He didn’t have to wait long.

Scott wasn’t sure of too much in his life, seeing as supernatural most often meant super-unexpected and super-unbelievable, but he could never deny that there was at least one thing to be sure of. Stiles was definitely that one thing. He was a BIG thing, if Scott was being honest, bigger than most things in his life and quite possibly the most constant other than his mom (and monsters in general, if we’re being fair).

He could explain where his head was at, what his intellect and common sense were telling him to do when he decided to leave, to…to leave them all behind…to leave Stiles behind…

But there was no defining the things his heart was telling him; the things it was making him feel and confront and finally accept after calling it all incomprehensible for so long. It was. It didn’t make sense at all, but it won out anyway.

Scott exhaled an ancient breath of relief and pulled his face back to look into his favorite whiskey colored eyes currently full of wet and worried meaning, shouting at him without making a sound.

It felt like one of those slow motion moments in the best movies, when you’ve built up hours of anticipation and sparkling chemistry and a wild, itching need to feel some kind of climax and then finally it just takes one final moment of waiting forever and then…

Scott could feel the smile on Stiles’ lips as they slotted perfectly between his own, painfully and deliciously slowly like the first lick of ice cream during the heat wave, or the gradual brightness of the sun poking through the horizon at dawn.

Of course there was a crash of thunder.

Of course the bolt of lightning that hit a few miles to their left lit them up like a spotlight, exposing their storm soaked bodies to each other with a flash.

Of course none of it mattered, because Scott was sure. He wasn’t going anywhere.

The two boys continued to cling desperately to each other as the storm broke around them, mouths glued together as their tongues curled hungrily inside, Scott’s teeth occasionally nibbling on Stiles’ swollen pink lips for emphasis.

“Mmm….maybe,” Stiles was trying to speak…was he? Scott could barely make out the words above the ruckus of nature and their pounding heartbeats. He redirected his attention from the overwhelming intensity on and under his skin to listen closely. Stiles always listened, so could he. He had werewolf hearing after all.

“What’s that?” Scott mumbled, trying and failing to pull his lips off of the human’s.

“Did you…say someth..mmmfff” He should’ve known he wouldn’t get the sentence out, because Stiles was attacking his face again, this time pushing him back onto the wet ground and caressing his cheek with one free hand while the other held him up on his elbow, hovering closely over Scott’s heaving chest. Stiles pulled off of his face slowly, eyes opening dreamily as he lifted himself directly into Scott’s line of sight.

“I was gonna say," he leaned down quickly to peck his friend delicately and lingeringly on the lips, “maybe we should get out of the rain. Find somewhere that’s actually not a death trap like this forest in a lightning storm.”

Scott raised his arm to trail his hand tenderly over the other boy’s beauty marked face, connecting the moles on his cheek with his fingertips and bringing them to a stop on his bee stung lower lip. Pressing it between his thumb and forefinger, Scott pulled Stiles back down on top of him into a deep kiss, more persistent and purposeful than the ones before. Both of them could feel it go all the way through the tips of their toes as Scott flipped himself over Stiles and they rolled around a few times with their lips locked together, coming to a stop when Stiles’ back finally hit a rather large tree root and he felt a stab of pain shoot through him like a sword (he knew that feeling- the nogitsune had made sure of that when he took Scott’s pain all those years ago).

“Owwwww!!” He howled, rolling his body forwards into Scott‘s and curling into a ball in his arms.

“Awww baby…I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Scott soothed his friend as he whimpered into his chest, stroking his arm gently up and down his wounded back until there was no more pain to absorb. Stiles could feel it leaving him instantly, and he hiccoughed a dry sob of relief into Scott’s comforting arms, wiping his nose on the soaked and tattered cotton that still barely covered his torso.

“M..maybe it’s time to go, Sc..Scotty.” Stiles whimpered, trying to compose himself and failing miserably at sounding anything but wretched. He still didn’t know what Scott was going to do. If he was going to stay….if he was going to leave him anyway. The thought of that happening after what they had just done was baffling to him, but Stiles knew it was still a possibility. It was possible this was all just a goodbye.

He looked into his best friend’s eyes and was terrified that he couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

"Yeah," Scott replied breathlessly, still rubbing Stiles' back gently and holding him tightly in his arms, "let's go. Where are you parked?"

Stiles lifted his head suddenly, staring back into his eyes with a wild new hope (see what I did there?) and holding his breath. _Did he just...? Is he..?_

"You..." he started, then stumbled over the words he was so afraid to speak aloud. "You're coming with me?"

Scott grinned as bright as the North Star.

"Of course dummy, did you think I was just gonna make you cry, kiss you, then leave you? What kinda friend do you think I am?"

Stiles could barely contain his glee, and it felt like he was about to explode with years of suppressed emotion.

"I always knew you were the best kind. Don't you ever do that to me again okay?" Stiles gave Scott a playful smack on the shoulder. "Don't you ever even think about leaving me ever again okay? Never ever ever again."

"Never again..." Scott mumbled as he pulled his best friend back in for one more breathtaking kiss, letting every doubt and worry and question he'd ever had swirl away with the leaves into the wild wind and out of their lives for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, this little story turned into my longest so far, and though I find it a bit heavy and cheesy throughout (not gonna lie, I find all my writing cheesy), I'm kinda proud of it. Please tell me what you thought! Feedback is life as usual. Love you all.


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